Cash Flow

"It is by human avarice or human stupidity, not by the churlishness of nature, that we have poverty and overwork."

- C. S. Lewis

* * * *

I’m not quite sure if I am ready to give in to Lewis’ bold invitation to blame humans for their own shortcomings, but there is probably a great deal of validity in this statement. I would go this far, for sure: It is almost always a human condition that we mould our environment in such a way as to screw some of us over pretty bad sometimes.

This also fits with my theory that it is the destiny of humankind to destroy its own world, at a specific rate and in a certain method.

Tomorrow, I shall look for my large tape measure and draft a plan for expansion within the plant, I am on a timeline of sorts. I bring this upon myself, according to the wise and wonderful Rocio, because they ask me and I do it, and therefore I am to blame.

And she’s right, it really is my fault, I should just say no.

The part of all of this that really kills me, that is very demoralizing, is that even though I have no true access to our finances, I know that we cannot afford this, and that once the plan is slipped to the owner, he will surely backtrack and beg for more time, seeing that our cash flow is too sporadic to support such a major inversion of money. Whatever work on this project that I do will be shelved indefinitely. And it should be. We can’t afford it right now.

In September I will be there a year. And Rocio will rightfully be upset if I don’t demand a raise, which they have repeatedly said that I deserve and will receive without any prompting from me.

And I don’t think that they can afford that, either.

Lesson learned. Never turn to Lewis in times like this. He will only remind me how futile it is to be a human being. Sometimes we get what we deserve, but usually it’s only when we don’t want it, and it doesn’t work conversely unless we get really lucky.

* * * *

At least I can say this: The people that work for me receive raises, screw the current cash flow. I review them on time and augment their salary according to their achievements and work ethic. I had a seamstress tell me last month, after I told her that she would get a dollar per hour raise, that she didn’t believe that the company would permit it.

I told her that if she didn’t get the raise that she so much deserved that I would quit on the spot. She deserved at least that, she is a stellar employee.

When I submitted the slip, the people in charge of human resources didn’t bat an eye, they simply adjusted her salary accordingly.

At the very least, I am damned proud of that, and of her.

And of all of the people who have to work for me.

At least there is that.