Paving the road to nowhere, one word at a time.

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Location: Tijuana, Baja California, Mexico

American born, living in Mexico since 1992.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

The Stimulus Miracle: Chapter Six - Show Me The Money

We come to a wordy section of the bill, all about Financial Services and General Government, that starts out simple enough by giving some love to the Federal Buildings Fund: 7.7 billion, of which one billion must go toward construction, repair, and alteration of border facilities. I can tell you first hand, that while I'm waiting an hour or two to be interrogated by the United States representative whenever I cross the border, my main concern is how much more beautiful the facilities should be. Same thing with the Internal Revenue Service, I mean, if I'm going to have to get a big stick rammed up my ass and lose lots of money to the government that I could have been using to stimulate the economy, the least that they can do is to remodel the building for me.

And it's about time that the government got some Electric Cars: 600 million. Especially now that they're subsidizing the battery-makers, because it would be a damned shame to have batteries for electric cars and no electric cars to put them in.

Then the bill starts to get boring, wordy, and downright confusing. The best that I can make out is that the government will continue to guarantee small business loans in existing legislation, but with some increases, percentage-wise. Unfortunately, it's impossible to calculate how much more money is going to be spent. I have no choice but to trust the Small Business Administration on this one. Oh, and if you're an illegal alien, you can’t have any money. Except for Welfare, of course.

There is one place that stipulates loans to small businesses can't exceed a total of: 3 billion, so it is entirely possible that I'm merely skeptical of that limit by all of the pages of SBA wordiness. Also know that you're limited to 10 million dollars. And we can't forget the administrative cost of loaning 3 billion dollars to small businesses, which is: 426 million.

We're only up to 116.337 billion so far. Probably. Hopefully. And we have electric cars!

Next: Chapter Seven – The Gestapo


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